One of The Most Empowering Acts of Compassion a Woman Can Do For Herself

is to shift from a mindset of comparison to one of self-acceptance.

One of the most empowering acts of compassion a woman can do for herself is to shift from a mindset of comparison to one of self-acceptance. The truth is that no particular hair color, or eye color, or skin color will add any intrinsic value to a woman’s worth. Or that one body size is more valuable than another. The labels that are used to define a woman is a lie. You, yes you, are enough, just are you are.

My Journey to Self-Acceptance

When I think back to my childhood, I can not recall a time when I didn’t compare myself to others, especially in a social setting. I learned early on that as long as I was skinny enough, pretty enough, my complexion was light enough, and I was a good enough girl, then I would be accepted. As a young girl, I wasn’t taught to be compassionate with myself, to love myself just as I was. Instead, I looked to images and people that seemed to embody the standard of acceptance. When I became a woman, I saw how the culture of comparison had become an invisible part of society, so much so that we no longer see it or second guess it. We spend the rest of our lives, comparing and shaming one another for a standard that isn’t even real.

Labels Do Not Define Me

As a girl in elementary school, I remember feeling like an outsider. My body was not thin, I had/have ADHD, and I spoke my mind so, therefore, I was labeled by adults as a troublemaker. I remember my 3rd-grade teacher requested I be moved to a class where I could get ‘help.’ My parents would not agree, instead, in the evening, my day worked with me until I understood the day’s work. My report cards through high-school all label me as slow and ranked at the bottom of the class.

By the time I started 9th grade, I believed what the teachers had said about me, and I gave up. I did graduate from high school, but at that time, I thought college wasn’t for me. Instead, I decided to get a cosmetology license; once I passed my state board exam ( on the first try), something shifted in me. The act of passing my exam and becoming a licensed cosmetologist demonstrated that I could learn. I started to rethink the labels that I believed about my ability in school.

Compassionate Act of Acceptance

It has been 36 years since I had the revelation that I could learn whatever I set my mind too. The journey has not been comfortable because, as I started to question the status quo and pushing back, a whole new set of labels came my way. I was a bitch, aggressive, disrespectful, crazy, and so on. Most women are all too familiar with these terms and why it used to define them. I want to take you back to my belief that I wasn’t college material. When I graduated from high school, I wanted to go to college; in fact, a college degree became a dream that I kept alive until, at the age of 47, I registered for my first class. It has taken me eight years, but in May 2021, I will finally have a BA Sociology. The student (me) that teachers labeled as slow is now an elected member of The Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi. Labels are limitations, and we can choose to reject them. We are the authors of our story and our definitions. When a woman questions the status quo, she is demonstrating empowering acts of compassion for herself and other women.

3 Empowering Acts Of Compassion for any woman.

1. Create a list of affirmations: you will need these. Affirmations are how you take back to the voices of comparison. I say mine with attitude, with a finger in the air and a bad-ass tone to my voice.

I remind myself that if we were not meant to all look and act alike. When you think about all of the different people in the world, and there are no two alike. Out of billions of people, each has unique things such as fingerprints, or our DNA, instead, there would be little clones running around and freaking us out at every corner.

2. Pay attention to the words you say to yourself: Words have energy and power; are you saying statements like;

I wish I didn’t _______,

If only I didn’t __________,

Once I am_______ then everything will be better.

When a comparison statement comes up, change it with a kind, and loving statement. Yes! Congratulations, I stopped and redirected my thoughts, I am enough, just as I am! Dam straight!

3. Celebrate other women: Find 3 ways each day to celebrate another woman. The real challenge is to celebrate the woman that you don’t want to encourage. I am not suggesting you have to say it out loud (yet), but I am challenging you to change the way you think about her. Women are not our competition……