Today I Chose Compassion Over Shame
Have you ever had one of those moments where you come face to face with your body’s limitations? Mine arrived this morning as I was trying to do a downward dog during a 15-minute yoga flow, and my arms suddenly decided that they didn’t want to hold me up anymore. Shit, what the hell just happened? This is a beginners class and only 15 minutes at that! At that moment, I realized I no longer had a bounce-back body, and I would have to start all over again. Instantly, I began to beat myself up. But, instead of going down a shame spiral (thank you, Brene Brown), I gave myself permission to treat myself with compassion.
Let me be honest; this moment had nothing to do with working out or my capability to do a 15-minute yoga flow. What I was experiencing was the realization of how the past twelve months had depleted my physical and mental well-being. I was surviving, not thriving. And this is why I am so passionate about practicing self-compassion. Because just like we must love ourselves before we can love others, the same principle applies to kindness and compassion.
For a type-A, Virgo, who is used to getting things done, remembering to pause, and sitting with my feelings, used to be a foreign concept. I used to think that compassion was a weakness because I saw it as a feeling that made people a doormat. But once I had a true understanding of it, I began to see it as a strength. So what is self-compassion? It is taking action steps to treat yourself with kindness as we work through our feelings, failures, pain, or flaws. Being compassionate is an action; I commit to being the best version of myself by treating myself with loving kindness. I am committed to bringing my best to the world so that all girls and women will know that they are enough.
This is why I explain self-compassion as a practice; it takes practice to recognize and act on the moments I experienced this morning. First and foremost, I had to be present with the dialog in my head, and I questioned if the words I was saying to myself were valid. That moment of questioning allowed me to stop the flow of negative self-talk and replace it with the truth. The truth is, the past year has beaten the shit out of me. There really isn’t any other way to say it; this past year has HURT.
Because I was present with my thoughts and questioned their validity, I can now be kind and love myself through the circumstances I experienced over the past year. And that is where I am, choosing truth, love, and healing over shame ~ why~ because I am worthy of being loved……..right where I am.
Remember, you are enough, and you are worthy of being loved………
